Notebook

How To Navigate Divorce While Pregnant? There’s A Lot To Consider

I saw this article and thought even though it’s something you don’t want to talk about when you find out your pregnant sometimes it’s a reality. It’s unfortunate, but sometimes, it happens. You might find yourself splitting from your partner, but you also happen to be pregnant, too. Just because you’re expecting doesn’t mean that you should defer your divorce, though, especially if you have a valid reason for wanting to part ways. Still, it can be challenging to know how to navigate divorce while pregnant. If you’re facing this sticky situation, here’s what you need to know.

Sure, divorce can be difficult in and of itself, but then add on a pregnancy and it can be downright devastating. But before you dive right into the divorce proceedings, you’ll need to make yourself (and your unborn baby) the top priority. “First and foremost, you must make certain that the mother-to-be stays healthy both physically and emotionally,” Evan R. Weinstein, Esq. of Weinstein Lindemann & Weinstein, explains to Romper. “The pregnancy exists separate and apart from any marital or interpersonal discord between the parents and the outcome of a divorce is certainly less important than the health of the mother-to-be.”

That said, once you’ve made the definitive decision to divorce, you should set yourself up with a lawyer — stat. “If you are pregnant and considering divorce, you should confer with an attorney immediately,” Tracy Julian, Esq. an attorney with Pashman Stein Walder Hayden, explains to Romper. “It will be important to understand your rights, the rights of the baby, and the rights of the father with regard to custody and parenting time.”

In some ways, pursing a divorce while pregnant doesn’t differ all that much from when you already have children. “The same issues of custody, parenting time, and financial support would exist regardless of whether the mother-to-be has other children,” advises Weinstein. But something that needs to be considered is naming your unborn baby. “Hopefully, consent can be obtained from both parties before child birth as to both the first and last name and how the name will appear on the birth certificate,” says Weinstein. Similarly, if you and your partner have different faiths (or one of you is non-religious), you’ll need to discuss any potential faith-based ceremonies prior to the baby’s birth.

If you’re on good terms with your partner, it’s also ideal to communicate your needs and expectations regarding a birth plan and who will be at the hospital for the delivery. “It would be preferable for the parents to agree upon a parenting time schedule for the time period after the baby leaves the hospital as well,” says Julian. “If the parties are unable to agree, it would be best to resolve any disputes regarding these issues prior to the birth of the baby to avoid urgent court applications while welcoming the child into the world.”

Another big factor to take into consideration before entering into divorce proceedings is insurance issues. “If the pregnant person is covered by their spouse’s health insurance and they get divorced, that health insurance will be revoked the moment they are divorced,” Russell D. Knight, a divorce lawyer in Chicago, IL, tells Romper. “This could pose a grave risk to both the mother and the unborn child.” So if you are under your spouse’s insurance (and still need the coverage for prenatal visits and to deliver your baby), you might want to hold off on the divorce until after your child is born or you’ve had enough time to get an insurance plan in your name.

If it’s at all possible, you might want to wait until after your baby is born to get a divorce. “Having a baby and having a divorce are both massive undertakings,” says Knight. “And only one of them can wait — the divorce.” So look at the bigger picture (as well as all the fine line details) to determine the correct timing of your divorce. That way, you can ensure that everyone’s rights — especially yours and your baby’s— are protected.

Experts:

Evan R. Weinstein, Esq. of Weinstein Lindemann & Weinstein

Tracy Julian, Esq. attorney with Pashman Stein Walder Hayden

Russell D. Knight, divorce lawyer in Chicago, IL

When your abuser is a cop: Domestic violence involving police leaves ‘no margin for error’ – al.com

Morgan County Sheriff’s Deputy Donald Steven Fanning was found guilty of domestic violence by strangulation in Feb. 2012. That same month he was fired from his position. But it wasn’t until 2016 that he was decertified, or prevented from ever serving as a police officer again.

“He then grabbed me by my hair on both sides slammed me into door and repeated knocking my head into door…He got on me and had one hand on my throat and one hand pulled back like he was going to hit me and said ’I will f****** kill you myself then I wouldn’t have to worry about you anymore,’” the victim wrote in her voluntary statement to police, in wide, sloping child-like handwriting.
— Read on www.al.com/news/2019/12/when-your-abuser-is-a-cop-domestic-violence-involving-police-leaves-no-margin-for-error.html

When Can My Baby Start Drinking Water? | Parents

Here’s why you should think twiceIn the first few months of life, your baby’s diet consists entirely of breast milk or formula. But is this enough to parch his thirst? When can babies have water? We’ve answered your most pressing questions.

When Can Babies Have Water?

It’s best not to give your baby water before 6 months. At this newborn stage, breast milk or formula meets every nutritional need for health and development. Plus, you don’t want to fill up your baby on water, since she might not be hungry for feedings. This decrease in appetite may leave her malnourished, potentially leading to weight loss. It may also cause your breast milk supply to diminish. Never dilute formula with water, and always consult a doctor before introducing water into your baby’s diet.

about giving water to your newborn.
— Read on www.parents.com/baby/feeding/when-can-my-baby-start-drinking-water/

We Calculated How Much a Baby Costs Per Month, and, Oh Baby, Is It a Lot. Corinne Sullivan

As exciting as it is to welcome a new addition to your family, it’s also majorly taxing on your physical health, your mental health, and — of course — your finances. Money may not be the first consideration for those thinking about welcoming a child into their lives, but we probably don’t have to tell you that a baby is a major investment. Yes, they’re cute. But they also have a lot of needs and, as a result, a lot of expenses — many of which you may not have considered. How much does a baby cost per month? Let’s break it down.


According to the 2015 Expenditures on Children by Families report, a married, two-child, middle-income family (earning between $59,200 and $107,400 annually) could expect to spend approximately $12,680 in the first year of their younger child’s life. If you take into account an average annual inflation rate of 2.2 percent — as well as the fact that one-child households spend an average of 27 percent more on the single child — that $12,680 could be over $17,500 in a one-child, middle-income household in 2019, which equals out to almost $1,500 a month. Whoa, baby.
So what exactly does that $1,500 a month go toward? The initial cost will obviously be more than your average monthly expenditures, especially if you’re welcoming your first baby. Before your bundle of joy arrives, you’ll need baby furniture, and The Bump estimates that you’ll likely spend about $2,000 for a nursery set, including the crib, changing table, rocker, and dresser. You’ll also require a car seat (which costs an average of $175) and a stroller (which can cost anywhere from a few hundred dollars to a thousand, depending on the model). There’s also the cost of giving birth itself, which can rack up an out-of-pocket bill anywhere from $2,244 to $2,669, depending on your type of birth, according to a 2013 survey conducted by Truven Health Analytics, in partnership with Childbirth Connection, Catalyst for Payment Reform, and Healthcare Quality & Payment Reform.

Related:
We Calculated How Much a Baby’s First Year Costs and . . . You Might Want to Sit Down

After that initial investment, you’ll have to budget for those recurring expenses, which include diapers, nursing and feeding, health insurance, child care, and clothing. You might be surprised to learn that babies go through an average of six to 12 diapers a day, according to the National Diaper Bank Network, and that can set you back $70 to $80 per month. And if you cannot or choose not to breastfeed, the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children calculates that formula can cost up to $150 per month.
In your baby’s first year, you can expect to make six visits for evaluations and immunizations, plus a few additional visits for illnesses, and the cost will vary dramatically depending on your healthcare policy. Then there’s childcare. According to a Care.com survey, the average weekly childcare cost for a baby in 2019 is $199 for a family care center, $211 for a daycare center, and $596 for a nanny, which equals out to a range of $796 per month to $2,384 per month. Clothing costs will also depend on your needs, as you could spend an average of $60 a month, according to Investopedia, though that largely depends on your family’s needs and income.
Bottom line: babies are expensive. Before you make that major life decision, take a careful look at your finances, since you’ll need an average of $1,500 a month in your first year. Babies are life changing, and wonderful, and cute as can be, but for something so small, they sure cost a heck of a lot.

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